I have known for most of adulthood that my cognitive default mode is a modest degree of attention deficit. Although in my case this tendency likely does not meet the formal diagnostic criteria of attention deficit disorder (ADD), it influences nearly all aspects of my life. ADD is indeed well-accepted as being a “spectrum” of illness. In the mildest cases there is a tendency to be distracted or what family members and close friends might describe as being absent-minded or disorganized when it comes to executive functioning (i.e. not fully completing a task before moving on to the next). At the other end of the spectrum is severe autism in which there is a near complete inability to attend to an outward experience of the world.
There is another feature to my attention deficit that may seem counter intuitive. I have easy access to a state of hyperfocus. As a clinician and a scientist, when I am studying–reading or writing–it takes very little time before I inhabit a space beyond time and beyond my conscious “self.” Hours pass. I forego food and drink. I am not conscious of bodily sensations except a kind of pain when I feel that I am being pulled out of this state before I am finished. While I in hyperfocus, I am powered by creative juices; grants and papers write themselves. To borrow a cliche, I am “in the zone” or “in the moment,” and I do not want to cross back over that threshold from this sacred space to the secular world.
Recently, I have begun using a device with electrodes placed over my temples to do a form of biofeedback that allows me to visually monitor and control my brain wave activity and to enter a state that is called “flow.” Many users report that this form of biofeedback has a positive effect on meditation practice. I can rapidly and reliably achieve flow by focusing on a reading or writing task that demands full attention and focused concentration (hyperfocus in my case). Yes, Bodhidharma instructs “Not depending upon words and letters.” For a scholar, intellect can be an impediment to progress in zen practice. I know this all too well. However, the hyperfocus I refer to bears no attachments to the content of what is read or written. And I can access “flow” just as easily by breath counting or reciting a simple mantra like “Be a fool!” I need only hyperfocus. Although the original intention for using this biofeedback technique was relief from chronic neck pain, I now use it to cultivate mindfulness, whether in zazen, zen archery (kyudo), or swordsmanship (iaido).
How remarkable that my deficit in attention to the physical world, and a related ability to hyperfocus, should enhance my zen practice. It is now my belief that milder forms of ADD may be naturally conducive to the meditative state, what I have variously referred to as being “in the zone,” “in the moment,” or “in flow.” What of autism? Is there, in effect, no ego at all beyond some inner “self” that cannot be in relationship with others nor address the logistical and strategic exigencies of a shared physical reality? Alternatively, is it possible that the autistic state is actually an innate experience of “One is equal to All”? There is no need, actually, to invoke the ego. The apparent inability to recognize or interact with any one thing or one person would then be a misinterpretation if the person with autism is in fact a living enso–the iconic and celebrated “circle” brushed by zen masters, often interpreted as a representation of both the void and the universe, emptiness and fullness, the one and the all. What if this is a case in which autism is especially an authentic expression of the buddha nature? If so, then it follows that people with autism have much to teach us about truth and the nature of enlightenment. What a revelation this would be with far reaching implications for how we view persons with ADD and other neuropsychiatric conditions that are so stigmatized in our culture. Let us, at the very least, recommit ourselves to diligently cleansing ourselves of attachments, aversions, and delusions in the way we perceive illness. In so doing, we too may reveal our innate buddha nature.
